the most underrated and (mostly) free baby shower and postpartum gift that you’ve probably never heard of

okay i didn’t actually receive this as a gift at my baby shower, but omg i wish i did!!! my sister has the biggest and kindest heart of any human i know, and she knew exactly what i needed for Christmas when my son was just over a year old. like cue the freaking tears because this is the message from my sister, and actions that i wish for every single birthing human to have in their “village” and available to them —

“Bethany and Travis — i know life can get a little (a lot!) hectic, chaotic, and overwhelming, especially with Revan as part of your family. so i hope i can lighten the load a bit with this little coupon book. and maybe if you use them all up, you’ll get a little treat”

okay ready for it? a postpartum healing + support coupon book.

and before you ask, YES — like the stupid and beyond adorable books you used to make your parents for their birthdays when you were five and had like zero dollars and 4 skills to your name (orrr is that just me and my siblings?). here’s what my sister included in my coupon book —

• help decluttering — going through boxes, organizing spaces, moral support
• help with the baby — if you need an afternoon or evening off, a day of babysitting, any other help
• help with cleaning — washing dishes, vacuuming, laundry, surface cleaning
• help with cooking — preparing and cooking a full meal, meal prep, a run to the grocery store

and i have even more ideas, cuz this is just the beginning!!! my exclusive pumping and breastfeeding community came up with some amazing additional ideas and support options, so you can call them the most supportive folks EVER —

• washing dishes + especially pump and bottle parts — it’s the worst chore, seriously. as one mama said, this needs to be the whole damn book!
• drop off a hot cooked meal or coffee — like give us all the coffee, this is how we survive (kinda)
• make a hot meal and offer some company — this really depends on the family! some folks don’t want visitors, while some people thrive with folks around their home
• run an errand or pick up groceries — getting a newborn all packed up to walk around the grocery store? like no thank you, not on my to-do list, like ever
• help with older kiddos — omg honestly this is the part that i’m most nervous about with having 2 kiddos, like how do you deal?!
• date night babysitter for a mom + dad time together (going out, or staying in) — not just having a moment away from the baby to be a human, but a few hours away from the mundaneness of kin-keeping is truly special and magical
• take the dog for a walk, or a few hours — having a pup and a baby is really hard. the guilt of feeling split and not spending time with our first/fur babies is heavy
• deep cleaning like dusting, changing the sheets, cleaning bathrooms vacuuming — cuz no one actually wants to do housework when there is a sweet little baby to snuggle and love on
• watch the baby while mom or dad takes an “everything” shower, or a nap — taking time for yourself when a tiny human needs (what feels like) everything from you can be exhausting in itself
• overnight baby duty — a good night’s sleep can be literally night and day and can change everything
• rot on the couch with a friend or family member — being a parent especially in the early days can be so lonely without a lot of adult contact, having someone to talk to can mean so much!

i love this type of gift because it puts more emphasis on the community surrounding our parent friends and family. maternal support is seriously lacking, especially here in the US. i can tell you (unfortunately) most parents (specifically breastfeeding and birthing parents) don’t feel seen or heard in the fourth trimester. this type of gift and emphasis is on holding parents during a very difficult season — not only babies (like everyone assumes what should be the focus).

what else would you add to your desired coupon book? where do you feel like you should have been more supported?

xoxo, Bethany

Certified Lactation Counselor

Your Overproducing Exclusively Pumping Mama