preparing for a redemptive birth and nursing experience after unexpected birth trauma

one of the questions i’ve gotten most frequently after announcing and talking about my second pregnancy — “are you planning on pumping for this breastfeeding journey? would love to know what this will look like for you!”

i want to reiterate that it is SO hard to plan for one birth and postpartum experience, and have something completely the opposite come to life. you can read some more about my birth experience with my first son Revan HERE — but for a little bit of context, we planned to have a homebirth, but after almost a week of labor, resulted in an emergency c-section and a week long stay in the NICU.

this is 100% NOT to say that the plan and expectations you have in your mind for your birth and breastfeeding won’t come to life!!! please know that i want every single good thing for you, exactly how you dream it.

but because of our really hard experience with my first son, we’ve definitely made some very intentional and different decisions this second time around (please read this as not one decision is better than another, but in this season, this is what currently feels best for our family) —

• instead of expecting to birth at home, we are planning a hospital birth, complete with a really great team of clinic midwives
• we also chose a doula (Bria at The Reclaimed Village if you’re in the Twin Cities, MN) who fits more of our shifting views on birth — literally right in the middle of holistic and medical when necessary
• instead of inviting our entire village of family to our labor room, i definitely need something more quiet and focused on actually getting our baby earth-side safely. we had a LOT of folks coming in and out of our room when i was laboring with Revan, and to no one’s fault at all — made me feel on display and like i was supposed to “perform” for getting labor more accelerated.
• nursing right from birth, and pump only when necessary (this was the plan last time, but if you know our birth experience, there were a lot of circumstances that got in the way of this!)
• check out this blog post for some more on what i’m changing with this second pregnancy and into birth for a different experience — “5 intentional things i’m doing in my second pregnancy to prioritize my physical and mental health” blog post

please hear that these are all things that my husband and i are doing in our power to make this birth experience faster, easier, less stressful for both me and our baby. we are NOT putting this “redemption” expectation on our newest little dude — it is not his job as a tiny human to change all of these very big things for us!!! as adult people who have the power to shift and change depending on our prior life experiences, it is all OUR responsibility. all i want from my little in-utero kiddo is to work with me as best as his little body can during labor.

as much as i absolutely LOVE pumping (i did it for 21 months exclusively to feed our first little dude), it’s literally my focus and forte in what i do as a lactation counselor!!! but my dream has always been to nurse. i’m keeping some things in mind about our anticipated breastfeeding plan —

• i’m interested in the experience end of it, to be able to serve my clients in a more whole, roundabout way. because right now i am unfortunately NOT the LC to ask about anything when it comes to nursing, and i kinda hate that
• i have so much more knowledge and education going into this second journey, that i wish i knew when i was even pregnant with our first baby.
• my body has previously been an overproducer, creating more milk than my baby drinks! this can be really difficult to manage, no matter WHAT kind of breastfeeding you’re doing (nursing or pumping is all breastfeeding). in addition to our bodies creating more mammary milk-creating cells with each subsequent child — i am anticipating needing to pump and figure out how to manage another oversupply this second postpartum experience

what decisions have you shifted when it comes to your birth or breastfeeding journey? what feels better for your family in this season?

xoxo, Bethany | Certified Lactation Counselor | Your Overproducing Exclusively Pumping Mama